Saturday, June 14, 2025

Baap Ki Baapta – The Unsung Symphony of Silent Sacrifice

When we speak of love, nurturing, and sacrifice, our minds instinctively paint the picture of a mother — “Maa ki Mamta” has been celebrated in poems, movies, and lullabies. Rightly so. But in this melodic chorus of motherhood, we often forget the silent rhythm of another hero — the father. what about Baap ki Baapta?

Yes, I said it. Baapta. That quiet, unshakable, rarely-glorified superpower of a father.

We celebrate moms with hashtags and spa vouchers (not nearly enough, btw), but fathers? At best, they get a new wallet, a “cool dad” mug, and if they’re really lucky — a slightly burnt pancake shaped like a heart.(Which they will eat anyway, proudly, because… dad 🀣)

But here's the thing — a mother carries a child in her womb for nine months, but a father carries the responsibility of that child in his mind, bank account, and blood pressure for a lifetime. often quietly, invisibly, but always, always steadfastly.
Is that not a kind of sacrifice too?

He may not be the one picking the right-size diapers at 2 AM (though some do, bless them),His sacrifices don’t come wrapped in lullabies or tears. They come in longer hours, missed meals, silent fears, and unread emotions. His love doesn’t always show up in hugs or bedtime stories. It hides in bills paid on time, shoes bought a size bigger so they last longer, and quiet nods of approval when his child stumbles and gets back up.

We talk — and rightly so — about postpartum carebaby blues, and the tsunami of emotions that hit a new mom. But what about new dads?

Does his world not change overnight? Does he not wrestle with emotions — joy, fear, responsibility, doubt — all at once?

Do we ever pause and ask,
“Hey buddy, how you feeling about suddenly being someone’s lifelong superhero, financial planner, handyman, and moral compass?”
Nope. We just hand him the camera and ask him to click pictures of the mother and baby.

Fathers feel.
They feel fear, love, inadequacy, pressure, pride — often all at once. But they don’t vent.

But where do they go with those feelings?
Most often, nowhere.

Because somewhere, we decided that strength equals silence. That emotion is a feminine trait. That if a man expresses vulnerability, it’s weakness.

But let’s be honest — it takes immense strength to carry the emotional weight of a family and not break down. It takes courage to show up every single day, even when you're tired, worried, or unsure.

But what they provide — emotionally, socially, and yes, financially — builds a deep-rooted sense of security in a child that even the most successful, independent woman (me included) might admit:
There’s nothing quite like a father’s protective presence.

This post isn’t about comparing roles or proving who sacrifices more. It’s a gentle reminder:
Let’s stop weighing love in gendered terms. Let’s learn to appreciate both — equally, loudly, and wholeheartedly.

We say women are expressive and nurturing. But maybe it’s time we became more expressive in our gratitude towards the men in our lives —  to all the dads, step-dads, father figures, partners, brothers, uncles, friends, neighbours, and even that random man at the airport who lifts a stranger’s toddler stroller with a kind smile — a big, loud, standing ovation to you.

So here’s a loud, unapologetic, full-hearted shoutout to every father and father figure —
To the one who showed up, even when he didn’t know how.
To the one who gave up his dreams so his child could chase theirs.
To the one who stood tall when he was breaking inside.
To the one who never asked for appreciation, but oh, how much he deserves it!

To my own father — who is no longer with me — not a day goes by when I don’t think of you, look up to you, and wish I had told you just how much you meant to me. I carry your strength in every step.
And to my husband, the most amazing father I could have ever wished for my children — your love, presence, and quiet strength are the pillars of our home. Watching you with our kids is one of life’s greatest joys.


This Father’s Day, don’t just behave like he matters.
Tell him. Show him. Celebrate him.

Because sometimes, even our strongest need to be reminded that they are seenloved, and appreciated — not just on this day, but every day.

Happy Father’s Day to all the incredible men who’ve made us feel safe, strong, and seen.

You are the unsung verses in the song of our lives.

With love and gratitude,
Grace in the Grit









Monday, June 2, 2025

Raising Graceful Rebels: Parenting in the Chaos of Midlife



Disclaimer: My kids are truly wonderful - polite, respectful and have yet to make me stress-eat chocolates straight from the fridge before 10 am, This blog is not a reflection of them, but rather of the collective chaos, that is modern motherhood. they are angels. I however am very much still under construction!!

Let's set the scene:

You're negotiating a screen-time limit with a 15year old who speaks perfect GenZ, while  simultaneously Googling,"What is the difference between perimenopause and losing your mind?"

Welcome to midlife parenting in 2025- where you're raising future adults while navigating hot-flashes, fluctuating moods, and a world that's changed faster than your metabolism.

We, the Millennials (Hi, fellow CD-burning, Orkut-using tribeπŸ‘‹πŸ‘‹πŸ‘‹), we were raised in a world of "Because I said so", Dial-up internet, and one phone for the entire family.

Our Kids? They're growing up in the age of AI girlfriends/boyfriends, Dopamine - fueled Reels, and group chats with more drama than a soap opera.

It’s no longer just a generation gap. It’s a generation canyon. With Wi-Fi at the bottom.

Let’s be honest: parenting in this generation feels like playing a game where the rules change every 15 minutes, and the referee is your teenager with an Insta account and strong opinions about everything from politics to Matcha Lattes.

Meanwhile, you’re over here googling “Is it perimenopause or am I just done with everyone?”.

Welcome to the emotional jungle where you’re raising adolescents while navigating midlife and hot flashes — all at once. If this isn’t grit with a side of grace, I don’t know what is.

First, Who are these Graceful Rebels?

They're not just rule-breakers with good manners.
They're the ones who question everything — from homework to human rights — but still ask if you want a bite of their fries.

They know their pronouns, their boundaries, and their snack preferences.
They’ll challenge the system, but also cuddle with the dog and say “thanks” after dinner.

That’s what we’re aiming for.
Not robots. Not rebels without a cause.
Rebels with grace. And maybe deodorant. Please, let it be deodorant.

Now Enter:Midlife Mayhem

Let’s talk hormones — theirs and ours.

They’re experiencing teenage angst. You’re experiencing night sweats, random rage, and that special kind of fatigue that no nap can fix.

They roll their eyes πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„.
You forget why you walked into the room πŸ˜•πŸ˜•πŸ˜•.
They listen to bass-heavy beats.
You listen to your bones cracking when you stand up.

It’s like living with someone who’s emotionally volatile while being emotionally fragile yourself.

It’s not them v/s us.
It’s all of us v/s biology. And no one’s winning 😧.

When Peer Pressure Punches through Your Parenting:

You’ve set all the right boundaries: screen time, open conversations, digital detox Sundays.

And yet, you find your child begging for the latest app or quoting someone named “Skibidi Rizz King” as if it’s scripture.

Peer influence is real. It’s fast. And no matter how disciplined your household is, the world outside will leak in.

Here’s what works (sometimes):

  • Be curious, not controlling. Ask “What do you like about this trend?” instead of “Why are you obsessed with this nonsense?”

  • Use the Three C’s:

    • Connection over control

    • Conversation over commands

    • Consistency over chaos

  • Build their inner compass. Because when you’re not around (read: school, sleepovers, the scary land of the internet), that’s what guides them — not your voice, but their values.

Bridging the Generational Gap (Or should we just build a Tunnel and Yell through it?)

Here’s the thing: we grew up with landlines and moral lectures. They’re growing up with FaceTime and therapy lingo.

Our parents said “Don’t talk back.”
We’re saying “Let’s discuss your emotional triggers.”

So the question is: do we bridge the gap — or just respectfully wave across it?

The answer: A bit of both.

  • Bridge what matters. Values, empathy, kindness, curiosity, and the courage to question without cruelty.
  • Let go of what doesn’t. Fashion choices, music taste, slang, and their refusal to use punctuation in texts. It’s not personal. It’s cultural.

We don’t have to become them.
We just have to be someone they can come to.
Even if we don’t understand 80% of what they say.

Real Talk: it's Okay to be the Parent Who's Still is Figuring It Out

You’re allowed to cry in the car after a tough morning.
You’re allowed to laugh inappropriately at a meme that perfectly captures your teenager’s attitude.
You’re allowed to set boundaries and then question them five minutes later.

We are the generation parenting without a blueprint.
We’re learning to raise emotionally intelligent kids while healing our own emotional glitches.
We’re learning to give freedom without losing control.
We’re learning to let go while holding on to what truly matters.

And in all of this — in the hormones, in the peer drama, in the “You don’t get it, Mom!” —
we are becoming rebels too.
Graceful ones.

Grace in the Mess

Here’s what I remind myself on the hard days: They’re not supposed to be perfect. Neither am I.

They’re learning how to be people.

We’re learning how to let go.

Some days we get it right. Some days we eat too much chocolate and scroll parenting memes while texting our friends “Same fight again. SOS.”

But through it all, we show up. Even when we’re tired. Even when our hormonal rollercoaster says “maybe don’t.” Even when our teens say “Urgghhh, MOOOM.”

And that? That is grace. That is rebellion — the good kind.

The Final Word(Before Someone Yells "MOM!" again)

They may not always listen.
But they’re always watching.

They see how you handle stress.
They watch how you treat yourself.
They notice how you show up — even when you’re tired, unsure, or overwhelmed.

So give yourself grace.
Laugh often. Cry if needed.
Apologize when you lose it.
Celebrate the little wins.

You're not failing.
You're just parenting- Midlife edition.





Strong, Silent… and Stressed: A Love Note to the Men Who Feel (but Won’t Admit It)

  They say men are from Mars and women are from Venus. But honestly, I think men are just from a corner of Earth where feelings are hidden b...