The Cost of Staying Silent: What Happens When Men Don’t Speak - Chapter 2

He says he’s fine.

Not loudly. Not convincingly.
Just casually enough to move the conversation on.

He says it while scrolling through his phone, driving, sipping his tea, or standing at the edge of the room.
“Fine” has become a punctuation mark in his life. End of discussion.

And most of us accept it.
Because we’ve been trained to.

I’ve noticed something about men.
They don’t usually announce their struggles.
They leak them.

Through irritation that feels out of character.
Through silence where conversation once was.
Through jokes that land a little too close to the truth.
Through workaholism that gets applauded instead of questioned.

Men rarely collapse dramatically.
They erode quietly.

The Art of Holding It All In

Somewhere along the way, many men became experts at emotional compression.

They learned how to:

• swallow disappointment,

• park fear neatly in a corner,

• rename sadness as tiredness,

• and label anxiety as “just stress."

It’s almost impressive. If it weren’t so exhausting.

The world praises this restraint.
“Strong man.”
“Solid guy.”
“Doesn’t complain.”

What we don’t see is the emotional bookkeeping happening inside —
The unpaid bills of unspoken feelings are piling up.

And feelings, unlike invoices, don’t disappear when ignored.
They charge interest.

When Silence Starts Speaking

Silence doesn’t stay silent forever.

It shows up as:

• sudden anger over small things,

• emotional distance in relationships,

• restlessness that no amount of scrolling can soothe,

• a strange numbness where joy used to live.

Sometimes it shows up as humour — dry, self-deprecating, sharp.
The kind that makes people laugh and then pause, wondering if they should’ve checked in.

Sometimes it shows up as control.
Over schedules. Over money. Over routines.
Because when the inside feels chaotic, control feels like relief.

And sometimes, silence simply shows up as loneliness —
even in rooms full of people who care.

The Unspoken Fear

If you listen closely (and patiently), there’s a fear beneath the silence.

What if I say it out loud and I’m judged?
What if I break down and can’t put myself back together?
What if the people who rely on me see me differently?

So he chooses quiet strength over honest expression.
Because that feels safer.

And to be fair, society has rewarded him for it.

Men who cope silently are often perceived as dependable.
Men who speak up are often told to “man up.

No wonder silence feels like the smarter option.

The Cost Nobody Talks About

But silence has a price.

It costs connection.
It costs emotional intimacy.
It costs health.
It costs presence.

It creates men who are physically there but emotionally unavailable — not because they don’t care, but because they don’t know how to arrive anymore.

It creates men who provide for everyone else but don’t know how to receive care themselves.

It creates men who look successful on the outside and feel inexplicably empty on the inside.

And the cruel part?
Most of them don’t even realize this is happening.

They just feel… off.
Disconnected.
Tired in a way sleep doesn’t fix.

A Small Shift That Changes Everything

Here’s the thing no one told them early enough:

You don’t have to carry everything alone to be strong.

Strength doesn’t reduce when it’s shared.
It redistributes.

And vulnerability isn’t an emotional outburst or a public confession.
Sometimes it’s as simple as saying,
“I’m not okay, and I don’t know why.”

Or,
“I’m tired of holding this together.”

Or even,
“Can you just listen? I don’t need solutions.”

That’s not a weakness.
That’s emotional literacy — a skill most men were never taught.

If You’re Reading This and It Feels Familiar

This isn’t a call to spill everything all at once.
This is a gentle nudge.

To notice where you’ve gone quiet.
To ask yourself what you’ve been holding in.
To recognise that silence might be protecting you — but it might also be costing you.

And if you’re someone who loves a man like this —
Be patient.
Be curious.
Create safety before expecting openness.

Because silence isn’t indifference.
It’s often an unexpressed weight.

This series exists because too many men are quietly paying the cost of staying silent — and too few of us are talking about it.

If this resonated with you, I’d genuinely love to hear your thoughts.
You can comment, message, or simply share this with someone who needs to read it.

Sometimes, the first crack in silence is all it takes.

The Silent Struggle: Why Men Don’t Talk About Mental Health - Week 1 | Silent No More — by Grace in the Grit

 

He’s doing fine.

That’s usually the answer. 

If you ask him how he’s doing — at work, at home, in passing — it comes quickly and effortlessly. Almost practiced. Sometimes accompanied by a small smile. Sometimes with a shrug.

“Fine.”
“Managing.”
“All good.”

And most of the time, we believe him. Because he looks okay. Because he’s showing up. Because the bills are paid, the deadlines are met, the family is taken care of.

Because this is what fine looks like on men.

But if you looked a little closer — not invasively, not suspiciously, just curiously — you might notice the pauses. The longer silences. The way his laughter arrives a beat late. The way he’s present but somehow distant.

Men don’t hide pain dramatically. They disguise it as normalcy.

I’ve often wondered when it begins.

Maybe when a boy falls and hears, “You’re okay, don’t cry.”
Maybe when his fear is dismissed as weakness.
Maybe when his confusion is met with impatience, not conversation.

Slowly, without anyone meaning harm, the message settles in:
Emotions are private. Deal with them yourself.

So he learns to do exactly that.

He becomes excellent at managing life — and terrible at talking about how it feels.

Over the years, that silence matures. It becomes responsible. Reliable. Respectable.

The kind of man everyone leans on.

He is the provider, the fixer, the protector. The one who shows up even when he’s running on empty. The one who doesn’t complain because someone else always has it worse. The one who believes that speaking up is selfish.

And somewhere along the way, support starts feeling like a luxury meant for other people.

He tells himself he doesn’t need it.
He convinces himself he can handle it.
He postpones his feelings the way one postpones a medical check-up — not now, maybe later.

Except “later” rarely arrives.

What men carry is rarely dramatic sadness.

It’s quieter than that.

It’s the weight of always having to be steady.
The constant calculation of what can be said and what must remain unspoken.
The fatigue of pretending everything is under control when it isn’t.

Sometimes, it leaks out as anger.
Sometimes as numbness.
Sometimes as silence that fills entire rooms.

And when someone finally notices and asks, “What’s wrong?” he genuinely doesn’t know where to begin.

Because he was never taught how to narrate his inner world.

There’s a strange irony here.

Men are expected to lead, but not to feel aloud.
To be pillars, but not allowed to lean.
To protect others, while quietly abandoning themselves.

And the world rewards this behaviour.

He is applauded for endurance.
Praised for sacrifice.
Respected for never “breaking down”.

But resilience without release slowly becomes exhaustion.

And exhaustion, when unnamed, turns into isolation.

Here’s the part we don’t talk about enough:

Most men don’t stay silent because they want to.
They stay silent because they don’t know what will happen if they don’t.

They worry about being seen differently.
About being misunderstood.
About burdening the people who already rely on them.

So they keep going. And going. And going.

Until one day, even “fine” feels like a lie they can’t maintain.

This space — Silent No More — exists because that silence deserves interruption.

Not with solutions. Not with judgement. Not with rushed advice.

But with listening. With permission.With the simple, radical idea that men are allowed to be human too.

That vulnerability does not shrink masculinity.
It deepens it.

That speaking up is not weakness.
It is courage that has finally found language.

If you are a man reading this, let me ask you something gently:

When was the last time someone asked how you were —
and actually waited for the real answer?

And if you are someone who loves a man, let me ask you this:

When he says “I’m fine,” have you ever wondered what he chose not to say?

I’ll leave you with this:

What would change if men felt safe enough to talk — not once they break, but while they’re still holding it together?

What would shift in homes, friendships, workplaces, and relationships if silence was no longer the price of being strong?

If this piece stirred something in you — agreement, discomfort, recognition — I’d genuinely like to hear from you.

Not as a comment.
Even as a quiet message is enough.

Because conversations like these don’t need an audience.
They just need a place to begin.

And perhaps, this is it.

When “I Think I’m Not Straight” Meets “Mom, Can We Talk?” — Parenting in the Rainbow Era

 Ah, modern parenting. You survived scraped knees, midnight school projects, and the Great TikTok Dance Craze of 2023. And now… your kid strolls in, all casual, and drops: “Mom, Dad… I think I’m not straight.” Cue the internal panic, the chai spill, and the Google spiral.

Here’s the secret: this is not a crisis—it’s just another teen phase… one with a rainbow twist. Kids today grow up in a louder, prouder, more colorful world than we did. Sometimes their declaration is genuine, sometimes it’s curiosity, sometimes it’s peer pressure. Either way, it’s a parenting moment you can survive—and even enjoy.

Remember when “coming out of the closet” was a serious, hush-hush family drama? Whispered conversations, community gossip, relatives calling from three time zones away?

Well, fast-forward to today. The closet isn’t even a closet anymore—it’s more like a revolving door. And sometimes, your teen steps out of it not with trembling hands and tears, but with the same energy they use to announce, “I don’t like pineapple on pizza.”

That’s right. Welcome to 2025, where kids declare their sexual orientation before you’ve had your first cup of coffee.

Why So Early? Why So Casually?

You may be thinking: “But they’re only 14! How do they know? Is this real or just Instagram peer pressure?”

The truth: sometimes it’s deep and certain. Sometimes it’s exploration. And sometimes, yes, it’s because their best friend said it first. But sexuality today is not always a fixed destination—it’s often a road trip with detours, Spotify playlists, and a couple of missed exits.

The real question is not “Is it real?” but “Am I creating a safe enough space for them to figure it out?”

Parents’ First Instinct: Panic

Let’s be honest. Most parents cycle through these stages within five minutes:

1. Shock – “Wait, what did you just say?!”

2. Denial – “Maybe it’s just a phase. Like when you hated mangoes at age 5.”

3. Catastrophe Mode – “Oh God, what will relatives say? And what about grandchildren?”

4. Google Mode – Searching late at night: “What is demisexual and how to explain to Indian aunties?”

It’s normal. You’re human. But after that mental rollercoaster, comes the choice: do you turn this into drama, or into dialogue?

How to Talk It Out (Without Losing Your Cool)

1. Don’t treat it like a courtroom confession.
   This is not your child on trial. It’s them testing if you’ll still love them when they reveal a vulnerable piece of who they are.

2. Respond like you would if they told you they switched electives.
   Neutral, curious, supportive. Not judgmental.

3. Ask, don’t assume.
   “What does that mean for you?” opens doors. “You’re too young to know” slams them shut.

4. Inject humor, but not mockery.
   If your teen says, “I’m queer,” a light “Thanks for trusting me—now eat your veggies” works. But sarcastic jabs don’t.

5. Teach them values, not fear.
   It’s fine to share your family’s beliefs. But don’t weaponize values as handcuffs. Give them roots, but let them grow their own branches.

   The Peer Pressure Puzzle

   Yes, sometimes kids copy friends. Sometimes they genuinely feel it. Sometimes they’re experimenting. But even if it is peer-driven, it’s a clue to what they’re curious about, how they want to belong, or what they’re noticing about themselves.

   Your role? Be the calm compass, not the overdramatic compass needle spinning in panic.

   Why It’s Not a “Big Deal”… And Why It Is

   Here’s the paradox:

   • To you, it feels like a world-shaking revelation.

   • To your child, it may feel as casual as changing hairstyles.

   The trick is to treat it as important but not catastrophic. Important because it matters to them. Not catastrophic because it doesn’t change the love between you.

   10 Practical Things Parents Can Do Right Away

   So, how do you navigate it without turning into a panicked emoji or a strict sermon? Here’s a cheat sheet of practical, punchy, and surprisingly effective steps:

   1. Pause the Panic Button
   Your first instinct may be to Google “my kid is not straight, what do I do?” Resist. Take a deep breath. Kids pick up panic like it’s contagious—stay calm, and your brain gets bonus points for surviving the initial shock.

   2. Listen Like a Ninja
   You don’t need answers right away. Let your child talk, nod occasionally, and avoid judgment. Listening = creating space for them to process, without your opinions accidentally sneaking in.

   3. Ask Open Questions
   Forget yes/no interrogations. Try questions like:

   • “How do you feel about this?”

   • “What made you realize it?”

   • “Do you want to explore this more?”

   Open questions encourage reflection, rather than shutting them down.

   4. Explore Together
   Books, shows, videos—these aren’t just entertainment; they’re conversation starters. Explore identity together, without forcing conclusions. Think of it as a parenting road trip—you’re the GPS, not the driver.

   5. Reinforce Family Values Without Smothering
   Family values matter, but they shouldn’t be a guilt trip. Say something like:
   “These are our values, but you’re free to find your own path. We’ll support you.”
   Your kid learns respect without feeling cornered.

   6. Normalize the Conversation
   Identity isn’t a one-time dramatic announcement. Make it casual. Talk about characters in shows, crushes, or trends. Regular dialogue = less pressure, more honesty.

   7. Spot Peer Pressure vs. True Feelings
   Sometimes what kids say is trendy or influenced by friends. Explore the why with curiosity, not judgment. Understanding their motivation helps distinguish experimentation from genuine identity.

   8. Humor Is Your Secret Weapon
   Laugh at the awkwardness, the unexpected questions, even your own panic. Humor diffuses tension and shows kids that they can be serious about themselves without fear of judgment.

   9. Encourage Safe Exploration
   Support curiosity without pushing conclusions. This could be letting them try new pronouns, explore interests, or ask questions freely. Safe exploration builds confidence.

   10. Love Always Wins
   No matter what phase, trend, or exploration, your love is non-negotiable. Confidence and security come from knowing your family has your back—even if they’re figuring themselves out.

   Grace Meets Grit

   Parenting in the rainbow era is not about having all the answers—it’s about creating the kind of home where questions are safe.

   Your child may switch labels, crushes, or pronouns over time. They may change their hairstyle 12 times too. But if there’s one thing they shouldn’t ever have to change, it’s their belief that you love them unconditionally.

   
   
   
   

   So the next time your kid casually says something over breakfast that jolts you awake faster than your espresso, take a deep breath, smile, and say—
   “Thanks for trusting me. Want some toast with that?

   Grace to Grit Takeaway: Your child’s orientation may evolve, but your orientation as a parent—to love, to listen, and to support—should stay steady.

   
   

When Motherhood Finds You

Motherhood is a word that carries so much weight. For years, I believed I knew exactly what it meant. As a proud mom of two incredibly awesome teenagers, I thought I had lived and felt the fullness of it — the sleepless nights, the laughter, the stubborn arguments, the pride that swells when you see your children grow into themselves.

And then, out of nowhere, life gifted me a moment that shook me quietly, a moment that reminded me that motherhood is far bigger than biology.

It happened so simply. There was no grand setting, no dramatic backdrop. Just a young teenager — naughty, playful, yet carrying the weight of life’s early losses with a grace his age should never have required. I had offered him a small gesture of appreciation, nothing more than a token really. I didn’t expect anything in return. But what came back to me… left me still.

He suddenly bent to touch my feet — a gesture of respect that felt so pure — and then hugged me with an innocence that carried a thousand unspoken words. In that single moment, something inside me shifted. My heart ached and expanded all at once. It was as if the universe had pressed pause, just so I could feel the depth of what was happening.

I stood there, frozen, holding that moment like a fragile piece of glass. My mind whispered a silent wish — if only his mother had been alive to witness this. And yet, in a strange, unexplainable way, I felt she was there. Somewhere between heaven and earth, her love seemed to flow through him, brushing against me in that tender instant.

That was when I truly understood: you don’t have to birth someone to be a mother. Motherhood is not confined to bloodlines or family trees. It is not a role reserved only for those who bring children into the world. Motherhood is presence. It is shelter. It is being the arms someone runs into without hesitation. It is being seen as “home,” even if only for a heartbeat.

Every child deserves a mother. Every child deserves to be seen, to be held, to know that someone is rooting for them. Sometimes life denies them that privilege too soon. But life also has a way of creating moments — fleeting, unexpected, sacred moments — where someone else can step in, even briefly, to embody that role.

That day, I realized something profound: perhaps the essence of motherhood is not in the title, but in the touch. Not in nine months of carrying, but in the timeless act of caring. Not in belonging, but in becoming — becoming the safe place someone didn’t even know they were seeking.

As I walked away from that encounter, my heart was heavy yet full. Heavy with the ache of what was missing, and full with the grace of what was given. I carried with me a truth I will never forget — sometimes, you don’t go looking for motherhood.

Sometimes… motherhood finds you.

The Cheating Couple Is a Mirror—Not a Headline

There they were—two people caught on the jumbotron at a stadium. He, supposedly a CEO. She, allegedly a CHRO. A quick camera pan, a suspiciously intimate posture, and boom—cue collective gasp. Within hours, the couple became viral villains. A private moment turned public property, Within minutes, the judgment poured in. Private choices became public spectacle. We watched, reposted, analyzed, moralized.

A stadium erupted. The internet took over. And just like that, two people became headlines.

Yes, the internet loves a scandal. But let’s talk about what we really saw.

But First… What Even Is Cheating?

Ask 10 people and you’ll get 14 definitions. Is it physical? Emotional? Texting at 2 a.m.? Heart eyes on Instagram?

Technically, yes—it’s the betrayal of a partner. But more often, cheating is the symptom, not the root. It’s a breadcrumb trail from an emptiness inside. A person doesn’t wake up one morning and say, “Today feels like a good day to destroy my life.”

No. It begins with silence. With longing. With pretending for far too long. The soul gets thirsty. And when there’s no rain in the marriage, some go looking for a cloud elsewhere. Not because they’re evil, but because they’re human—and possibly dehydrated emotionally.

Again, not justifying. Just… understanding.

Stale Marriages: The Polite Cousin of Betrayal

Let’s also address the elephant sipping chai in the drawing room: not all betrayals involve hotel rooms and secret passwords. Some happen quietly—across dining tables, in carefully curated selfies, and in homes where two people live like cordial roommates.

We clap for couples who "stuck it out" for 30 years. But what if 25 of those years were spent wearing masks? Is staying in something lifeless more honorable than walking out of it?

Tough question, I know. But if we’re going to be scandalized, let’s at least be equal opportunity thinkers.

The Popcorn-Worthy Public Trial

Now let’s talk about us. The audience. The outraged and the entertained.

We went from gasping at a screen to forwarding memes faster than our internet provider could keep up. But here’s a nudge: if someone else’s broken moment feels like your best entertainment, maybe you need a hobby. Or a therapist. Or both.

The gleeful judgment, the memes, the moralising—it’s like we found a temporary escape hatch from our own lives. But what are we really hiding behind that laughter?

Because let’s be honest: the loudest critics often have the quietest truths they don’t want to face.

Not a Headline. A Mirror.

This couple—bless them—isn’t just a breaking news item. They are a mirror.

And mirrors don’t lie.

So before you repost or roll your eyes, ask:

• Where in my life am I performing instead of living?

• Am I honest with myself… or just comfortable?

• What parts of my relationship (or lack thereof) have I quietly settled into?

That’s where the discomfort lives. But that’s also where your growth is waiting.

Grace > Gossip

This isn’t a green card for cheating. People get hurt. Trust gets broken. Rebuilding takes forever and a half.

But weaponizing someone else’s mistake for entertainment? That’s a different kind of betrayal. One we rarely admit.

So here’s a radical idea: the next time the world erupts over someone else’s scandal, take a breath. Sit back. Sip your tea without spilling it on someone else’s name.

And instead of typing that comment, ask:

Where am I unfaithful—not to a person, but to my own truth?

Because in the end, scandals fade. People forget. But what we do with these moments—how we look within—that’s what shapes our character.

In Conclusion: Life’s Messy. Let’s Be Kind.

Infidelity isn't noble. But neither is martyrdom in a loveless, lifeless setup. People are complex. Relationships are complicated. Life rarely fits in black-and-white boxes—no matter how catchy the headline.

So let’s stop pretending we’re the morality department of the universe.

Let's be curious, not cruel. Honest, not performative. Compassionate, not clickbait-driven.

Because the real revolution?
It’s not in tearing others down.
It’s in building ourselves up—with grace, grit, and a good sense of humor. 🌸

Strong, Silent… and Stressed: A Love Note to the Men Who Feel (but Won’t Admit It)

 They say men are from Mars and women are from Venus. But honestly, I think men are just from a corner of Earth where feelings are hidden behind cricket scores, sarcastic one-liners, and refusing to ask for directions because — you guessed it — “Mard ko dard nahi hota.”

Spoiler alert: Mard ko sab kuch hota hai. Dard bhi, heartbreak bhi, anxiety bhi… and yes, even FOMO.

Somewhere between “be a man” and “don’t cry like a girl,” men were handed a 400-page emotional instruction manual… and told to ignore it completely. They were trained to fix leaky taps, kill cockroaches with slippers, and bottle up their emotions tighter than last year’s Diwali sweets.

So this one’s for them — the strong, silent, slightly-suffering souls who’ve been conditioned to “deal with it” until one day they just can’t anymore.

When Men Feel… But Can’t Afford To

Let’s call it what it is: men do feel — joy, pain, fear, self-doubt, PMS (Post-Match Sadness), and everything in between. They just don’t get the memo that it’s okay to say it out loud.

The emotional vocabulary given to most men ends at:

• “I’m fine.”
• “It’s nothing.”
• “Aur kya chal raha hai, bhai?”

That’s not emotional stoicism. That’s just emotional buffering on a very slow connection.

They’ve been told vulnerability is weakness, so they walk around carrying grief, shame, and unspoken fears like over-packed cabin baggage — pretending it’s light, even when it’s clearly dragging on the floor.

Is It a Crime to Feel Things, Bro?

Now let’s address the very awkward (but necessary) elephant in the room.

When a woman cries, we rush with tissues, tea, therapy, and a whole squad named “Self-Love Sundays.”

But when a man breaks down? We look confused, uncomfortable, and secretly hope he’ll stop before we have to feel feelings too.

Domestic violence against women? Laws, helplines, awareness drives, public outrage.

Domestic violence against men? Punchlines, memes, and “Are you serious? Bro, grow a spine!”

Look, this isn’t a competition in suffering. But emotions — and injustice — shouldn’t be gender exclusive. Men deserve empathy, not just expectations.

Creating the Emotional WiFi Zone (No Password Needed)

Here’s how we, as women, sisters, friends, and partners, can help change the script:

• Listen without laughing. Even if he’s scared of lizards. Yes, even the tiny ones.
• Don’t ‘fix’ everything. Sometimes he just wants to rant about his boss being a chai-sipping dictator. Let him.
• Don’t weaponize his emotions later. If he opens up about childhood trauma, don’t use it to win an argument six months later.
• Model emotional honesty. Cry during movies, say “I’m scared,” admit when you feel lost. It gives him permission to do the same.

Think of it like emotional WiFi — invisible, but powerful when it’s freely available and doesn’t make anyone feel like they’re overusing data.

When Silence Gets Dangerous

Now, here’s the not-so-funny bit (but one we can’t ignore).

Men are dying in silence. Literally. The rising suicide rates among men aren’t because they don’t have problems. It’s because they’re too scared or ashamed to talk about them. Because no one taught them how.

Because “Mard ko dard nahi hota” became the world’s most harmful plot twist.

Strong Looks Different Now

Being strong isn’t about having a six-pack and pretending your heart doesn’t ache.

It’s about showing up, even when you’re scared.

Speaking up, even when your voice trembles.

And feeling things — deeply, honestly, and without apology.

So, to the men reading this — and the women who love them — let’s rewrite the script. Let’s normalise hugs that last longer, conversations that go deeper, and safe spaces that don’t smell like judgment.

Because behind every “I’m fine” is a man who’s probably just tired of pretending.

And maybe — just maybe — he’s waiting for someone to look at him and say,

“Hey, Mard ho… toh kya hua? Tum bhi insaan ho, yaar.”

Baap Ki Baapta – The Unsung Symphony of Silent Sacrifice

When we speak of love, nurturing, and sacrifice, our minds instinctively paint the picture of a mother — “Maa ki Mamta” has been celebrated in poems, movies, and lullabies. Rightly so. But in this melodic chorus of motherhood, we often forget the silent rhythm of another hero — the father. what about Baap ki Baapta?

Yes, I said it. Baapta. That quiet, unshakable, rarely-glorified superpower of a father.

We celebrate moms with hashtags and spa vouchers (not nearly enough, btw), but fathers? At best, they get a new wallet, a “cool dad” mug, and if they’re really lucky — a slightly burnt pancake shaped like a heart.(Which they will eat anyway, proudly, because… dad 🤣)

But here's the thing — a mother carries a child in her womb for nine months, but a father carries the responsibility of that child in his mind, bank account, and blood pressure for a lifetime. often quietly, invisibly, but always, always steadfastly.
Is that not a kind of sacrifice too?

He may not be the one picking the right-size diapers at 2 AM (though some do, bless them),His sacrifices don’t come wrapped in lullabies or tears. They come in longer hours, missed meals, silent fears, and unread emotions. His love doesn’t always show up in hugs or bedtime stories. It hides in bills paid on time, shoes bought a size bigger so they last longer, and quiet nods of approval when his child stumbles and gets back up.

We talk — and rightly so — about postpartum care, baby blues, and the tsunami of emotions that hit a new mom. But what about new dads?

Does his world not change overnight? Does he not wrestle with emotions — joy, fear, responsibility, doubt — all at once?

Do we ever pause and ask,
“Hey buddy, how you feeling about suddenly being someone’s lifelong superhero, financial planner, handyman, and moral compass?”
Nope. We just hand him the camera and ask him to click pictures of the mother and baby.

Fathers feel.
They feel fear, love, inadequacy, pressure, pride — often all at once. But they don’t vent.

But where do they go with those feelings?
Most often, nowhere.

Because somewhere, we decided that strength equals silence. That emotion is a feminine trait. That if a man expresses vulnerability, it’s weakness.

But let’s be honest — it takes immense strength to carry the emotional weight of a family and not break down. It takes courage to show up every single day, even when you're tired, worried, or unsure.

But what they provide — emotionally, socially, and yes, financially — builds a deep-rooted sense of security in a child that even the most successful, independent woman (me included) might admit:
There’s nothing quite like a father’s protective presence.

This post isn’t about comparing roles or proving who sacrifices more. It’s a gentle reminder:
Let’s stop weighing love in gendered terms. Let’s learn to appreciate both — equally, loudly, and wholeheartedly.

We say women are expressive and nurturing. But maybe it’s time we became more expressive in our gratitude towards the men in our lives —  to all the dads, step-dads, father figures, partners, brothers, uncles, friends, neighbours, and even that random man at the airport who lifts a stranger’s toddler stroller with a kind smile — a big, loud, standing ovation to you.

So here’s a loud, unapologetic, full-hearted shoutout to every father and father figure —
To the one who showed up, even when he didn’t know how.
To the one who gave up his dreams so his child could chase theirs.
To the one who stood tall when he was breaking inside.
To the one who never asked for appreciation, but oh, how much he deserves it!

To my own father — who is no longer with me — not a day goes by when I don’t think of you, look up to you, and wish I had told you just how much you meant to me. I carry your strength in every step.
And to my husband, the most amazing father I could have ever wished for my children — your love, presence, and quiet strength are the pillars of our home. Watching you with our kids is one of life’s greatest joys.

This Father’s Day, don’t just behave like he matters.
Tell him. Show him. Celebrate him.

Because sometimes, even our strongest need to be reminded that they are seen, loved, and appreciated — not just on this day, but every day.

Happy Father’s Day to all the incredible men who’ve made us feel safe, strong, and seen.

You are the unsung verses in the song of our lives.

With love and gratitude,
Grace in the Grit